So recently I have been obsessed with the idea of relationships and what they really mean to me and to others and really, what the heck are they?!
It's no secret I've been in a couple relationships, one being semi-serious. But how can any "relationship" be serious when you're 17?! What do we know about love at 17? What gives us the right to dictate to another person that we own them and they have to do what we say or they won't be able to talk to us anymore? What gives us the right to absolutely ruin someone emotionally?
I sit here and I ponder how to get the love my mom and my dad had. What I wouldn't give to have that. But what is different now than how it was back in the 70's-80's is all the communication we have now with each other and people around the world. Sometimes I just want to throw away my phone or computer just for the sole fact that that my whole life is all on the internet. Thinking now, things were so much easier without technology. Now-a-days you can read what people's thoughts are. Twitter for example. I've heard of so many couples getting in fights, me starting a few myself, over what their significant other posted on Twitter or favorited of someone else's. How ridiculous is this people? Can other's not think for themselves anymore? We now have to control their thought processes too?
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure back then there were such things as what we call "fuck boys" now-a-days. But they didn't fight about the petty stuff that we do. Here are some examples of fights that I have either heard about or actually picked a fight myself about-
1) "Did you seriously like that girl's picture on Instagram? We are through."
2) "I can't believe you are friends with this b!?@$ on FaceBook, delete her or I'm leaving."
3) "I wanted Chipotle not Burger King Oh my God."
4) "He hasn't replied in 3 hours, he's totally hooking up with some other girl. How could he?"
5) "She spends way too much time with her friend." "So what?" "He's a guy. I'm going to say something to her."
6) "My boyfriend's background on his phone is of some VS model, I'm going to talk to him about that the next time we are together."
7) "Why did you change your avi from us to just you?!?!"
8) "WHAT DID THAT TWEET REALLY MEAN? ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH ME?"
Folks I could go on for days here. I think you get my point. Couples these days are so flexible it's disgusting. One day they are together, the next they aren't speaking. The way we treat the people we "care" about is disturbing.
I feel very strongly about all of this because I feel like half of my life was wasted on worrying what guy was liking me, or impressing this one guy, or making this other guy happy. My world revolved around not me or who I cared about most, but the people who hurt me the most. And I feel like I am forever emotionally damaged from all of this. But how can someone be emotionally damaged from something so small as a relationship? You weak little thing. You can't take anything can you? But I am for real guys. How many times has your heart been broken? How many times did you hate yourself because some guy or girl stopped caring about you for no reason? This hasn't happened to you? LUCKY FOR YOU. YOU SHOULD GET A MEDAL OF HONOR. But for me, I went through hell at like the age of 17 all because of some guy dumping me. How sad is that. There are 17 year olds in Africa, starving, and I'm over here crying over some boy that just dumped me. And now I see how pathetic I was. But I also know how much that stuff hurts.
After a lot of reflecting I've come to see relationships in a new light and am patient in my search to find the right guy for me. I've come to realize, I don't NEED to be in a relationship to be happy. Honestly I can be happier by myself, because when you depend on someone to make you happy, you will be sorely disappointed. In the end, you and you alone know how to make yourself happy and you and you alone will know when you are. Don't depend on some guy or girl to make or break you. Become independent. Stop searching. Just take breath and enjoy life from where you are right now and don't rush things. When the right person comes, you will know.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Monday, May 25, 2015
Back From The Dead
Hello wonderfully healthy people!! Congratulations on making it to Summer 2015 may it be as wonderful as summers' past. Finals Week hit this girl hard, in the face, with a pan. I had only three finals, yet I managed to still make it seem harder than it should have been. I studied my booty off, and the last thing on my mind was my lovely readers missing my lovely voice. Well I'm back again so let's get to it.
There's many ideas I had for my newest post. I jumped from multiple subjects. Finals preparations, but even thinking about finals again makes me want to emotionally break down again, so we will steer clear of that dark moment in time at the moment. I also though about a packing guide for incoming Freshman because God knows I didn't pack how I should have, and I thought I at least did a good job of preparing. But then I start thinking of having to pack up all my stuff AGAIN to move back to Lawrence this Thursday and I get exhausted thinking of all the bags I have yet to fill. So that's off the table. I also shot around the idea of looking back on my first year of college, but folks, I believe that post will have to wait until I'm situated back in Lawrence when my life has settled down, just a little, and I have time to think back to that wonderful time.
So I decided to settle on something a little sentimental. I like to believe myself to be a romantic, I want to find the love of my life and grow old and senile together. But there is another part of me that assumes I'm going to end up bitter and alone, with a few dozen cats around the house because I am always so callous to others. Yes people I am only 19, and like most 19 year olds, we think we already know everything when it comes to relationships. For me? I thought I had found THE ONE in high school, and THAT was wrong. Yes, one in a million chance you might end up with your high school sweet heart, but that's very rare and usually doesn't have a happy ending. But I have hope for everyone.
Since the ending of senior year, I had given up on the male species. I'll be independent. Girl power. Single and ready to mingle. Single as a Pringel. Take your pick. But after awhile, you do start to get lonely, especially when most of your girl friends start to get boyfriends..... then it all just starts to go down hill. I've thought from time to time that love is a joke and it isn't real, we just pretend. Everyone lies and cheats and no relationship is worth it. And there is also the daunting fact that one of you will die before the other, and living without your soul mate is something I can't even fathom. But yet I say, I have hope for you all.
The other day I was working at S&S and an old couple came in to look at shoes and sole inserts for the lady of the house. They cleverly avoided the subject of age. But as I nonchalantly moved around the couple as they were being helped, I eavesdropped. I know, I'm terrible, but I'm so glad I did.
The man was a pastor for a town near by and from just the time there, I could tell he was very protective of his wife. She had foot problems and was very frail. After many furtive glances between them, my heart warmed at the sight. The way his eyes followed every movement she made to make sure she didn't slip up or fall. They kept glancing back and forth not saying anything, but you could tell they didn't need to. They were told that insurance wouldn't cover what she needed. The husband spoke up in a very determined and loud voice that it did not matter and that they would buy them anyway. They then proceeded to pick what kind of shoe. Not long after, she was stuck on a color. She asked him about the color brown. He looked at her and in all seriousness said, "You can get pink ones I don't care as long as your happy." This made me smile. Bickering and bantering never fades and the love he had for her held in that sentence. The underlying meaning being that he would buy her anything, no matter how ridiculous, as long as she was happy. How lovely is that?
But it gets better folks.
They began to gather their things and the husband picked up the bag with her old shoes in them. The man helping them said something along the lines of the husband being the bag carrier today. They both laughed and he said he wouldn't have it any other way.
Don't start crying, because I almost did when this happened.
"We're having our 60th wedding anniversary in September," the husband said. The helper looked at them both with wide eyes and asked how old they were when they got married.
"Well, she was 15 going on 16 but acted like she was 25. I was 20. Now most people these days would NEVER get married at that age but we knew." He then turned to me and asked me how old I was. I answered with, "19."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No, not anymore, haven't for awhile."
"Don't you dare rush it little girl. Love isn't easy. You have people getting divorces everyday, but I would never divorce my wife. Marriage is a serious thing and you have to work at it. I'm not saying it's gunna be easy at all. Its damn hard sometimes, but it is worth it at the end of the day to fight for your love. But don't give up hope. He's out there. You just gotta be patient."
My mouth dropped open and I had to turn away because I nearly started to cry. This man, not knowing, had just changed me in a way. Helped me see that there is love out there, it's just that I am not ready yet. He gave me hope again. Something as little as sharing a story from your life with a stranger could have an impact of them in some way without you knowing. I'm sure he didn't know how hard of a time I had been having and without knowing, had helped brighten my day to where it was easier to bear the burden of being alone for awhile longer, just as long as I knew that he was out there somewhere.
I hope this old couple helped you a little on your day. They certainly brightened my day. Just remember, if you truly do love them, fight for them. It's not easy. God never meant for anything to be easy. If you really want to be with them, then act like it.
There's many ideas I had for my newest post. I jumped from multiple subjects. Finals preparations, but even thinking about finals again makes me want to emotionally break down again, so we will steer clear of that dark moment in time at the moment. I also though about a packing guide for incoming Freshman because God knows I didn't pack how I should have, and I thought I at least did a good job of preparing. But then I start thinking of having to pack up all my stuff AGAIN to move back to Lawrence this Thursday and I get exhausted thinking of all the bags I have yet to fill. So that's off the table. I also shot around the idea of looking back on my first year of college, but folks, I believe that post will have to wait until I'm situated back in Lawrence when my life has settled down, just a little, and I have time to think back to that wonderful time.
So I decided to settle on something a little sentimental. I like to believe myself to be a romantic, I want to find the love of my life and grow old and senile together. But there is another part of me that assumes I'm going to end up bitter and alone, with a few dozen cats around the house because I am always so callous to others. Yes people I am only 19, and like most 19 year olds, we think we already know everything when it comes to relationships. For me? I thought I had found THE ONE in high school, and THAT was wrong. Yes, one in a million chance you might end up with your high school sweet heart, but that's very rare and usually doesn't have a happy ending. But I have hope for everyone.
Since the ending of senior year, I had given up on the male species. I'll be independent. Girl power. Single and ready to mingle. Single as a Pringel. Take your pick. But after awhile, you do start to get lonely, especially when most of your girl friends start to get boyfriends..... then it all just starts to go down hill. I've thought from time to time that love is a joke and it isn't real, we just pretend. Everyone lies and cheats and no relationship is worth it. And there is also the daunting fact that one of you will die before the other, and living without your soul mate is something I can't even fathom. But yet I say, I have hope for you all.
The other day I was working at S&S and an old couple came in to look at shoes and sole inserts for the lady of the house. They cleverly avoided the subject of age. But as I nonchalantly moved around the couple as they were being helped, I eavesdropped. I know, I'm terrible, but I'm so glad I did.
The man was a pastor for a town near by and from just the time there, I could tell he was very protective of his wife. She had foot problems and was very frail. After many furtive glances between them, my heart warmed at the sight. The way his eyes followed every movement she made to make sure she didn't slip up or fall. They kept glancing back and forth not saying anything, but you could tell they didn't need to. They were told that insurance wouldn't cover what she needed. The husband spoke up in a very determined and loud voice that it did not matter and that they would buy them anyway. They then proceeded to pick what kind of shoe. Not long after, she was stuck on a color. She asked him about the color brown. He looked at her and in all seriousness said, "You can get pink ones I don't care as long as your happy." This made me smile. Bickering and bantering never fades and the love he had for her held in that sentence. The underlying meaning being that he would buy her anything, no matter how ridiculous, as long as she was happy. How lovely is that?
But it gets better folks.
They began to gather their things and the husband picked up the bag with her old shoes in them. The man helping them said something along the lines of the husband being the bag carrier today. They both laughed and he said he wouldn't have it any other way.
Don't start crying, because I almost did when this happened.
"We're having our 60th wedding anniversary in September," the husband said. The helper looked at them both with wide eyes and asked how old they were when they got married.
"Well, she was 15 going on 16 but acted like she was 25. I was 20. Now most people these days would NEVER get married at that age but we knew." He then turned to me and asked me how old I was. I answered with, "19."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No, not anymore, haven't for awhile."
"Don't you dare rush it little girl. Love isn't easy. You have people getting divorces everyday, but I would never divorce my wife. Marriage is a serious thing and you have to work at it. I'm not saying it's gunna be easy at all. Its damn hard sometimes, but it is worth it at the end of the day to fight for your love. But don't give up hope. He's out there. You just gotta be patient."
My mouth dropped open and I had to turn away because I nearly started to cry. This man, not knowing, had just changed me in a way. Helped me see that there is love out there, it's just that I am not ready yet. He gave me hope again. Something as little as sharing a story from your life with a stranger could have an impact of them in some way without you knowing. I'm sure he didn't know how hard of a time I had been having and without knowing, had helped brighten my day to where it was easier to bear the burden of being alone for awhile longer, just as long as I knew that he was out there somewhere.
I hope this old couple helped you a little on your day. They certainly brightened my day. Just remember, if you truly do love them, fight for them. It's not easy. God never meant for anything to be easy. If you really want to be with them, then act like it.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
College 101: Lesson 3
One of the best things about college is you can finally do what you want to do, wear what you want, do what you want, believe what you want, and people actually DON'T judge you unlike high school. I remember my Sophomore year of high school. I started buying different clothes than what I normally wear because I thought they were cute. But I was afraid to wear them to school, because no one else liked these clothes. If you didn't wear blinged out Buckle Jeans that cost more than $100 and an American Eagle top you were weird. God forbid you actually wear dress-up clothes like skirts or dresses without getting weird looks or multiple questions of, "why do you look so nice today?" BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOUR BENEFIT!! I have strong feelings about this. My style ranges from emo skater girl to Sorority basic. And I feel like because of how judgmental our school was, I didn't break out of my shell and didn't really become who I wanted to be until college, which really sucks.
I remember in my senior year there was a new girl that appeared. What was amazing about this girl was her confidence. She didn't care that she wasn't the smallest girl out there. She didn't let her weight dictate what she wears and how she feels and how she carries herself. She didn't let people's opinions change the way she dressed. She wore whatever she wanted, not caring what others said. To me, this was so brave. She did wear some crazy stuff, but what we weren't taught in high school, is to accept people for who they really are. We haven't matured to the point where it shouldn't bother us what other people wear. So because of this we are kept inside our shell and not able to do what we really want, which hinders our ability to grow as a person, and the circle goes around and around. Until the only thing accepted at school is Buckle jeans and yoga pants (PINK BRAND ONLY).
BUT GUESS WHAT RICH GIRLS FROM HIGH SCHOOL?!?!?!?!?!? Buckle isn't cool here. You're actually considered immature if you still wear bedazzled jeans. It's like crossing over into a different world, from black and white to HD color. I've seen so much diversity since coming to KU. I've seen it all. We have a guy that rides a unicycle, no freaking joke. I've seen a girl in all black with big baggy pants with silver chains all over them. I've seen girls with sky high heels that empower me. If it were up to me, I would have worn heels to school ALL THE TIME if it would've been acceptable.
One of the things that made me realize how bad Beloit is at judgmental opinions was when it was the second time I came home. I was wearing what I normally wear when I go out casually. Not what I normally would've worn a year ago in high school. One of my former underclassman came up to me.
"Hey Dani would you be offended if I asked you a personal question? You don't have to answer."
"Well sure, go ahead."
"Are you wearing what you wear now because that's what people wear in Lawrence or have you wanted to wear this and just haven't been able to until college?" Right then I felt bad for this guy. We are sheltered in Beloit. It's such a small town that anything that isn't considered "right" by our other peers is wrong.
I answered him truthfully. "I've had these clothes since Junior year. I get to wear what I want and I love it."
"Yeah, I thought so. See I want to be able to wear scarves and nice dress-up clothes but I know people will just make fun of me for it." How wrong does that sound people? Moving from Beloit to lovely Lawrence, KS has made me realize how brain washed we are. We're taught that gay rights are not rights at all and that not believing in God is wrong. Well guess what people? I have an aunt that is gay. And she is probably one of the greatest people I know. She adopted two boys from two different countries. She is so inspirational. One of my best friends here is gay. I know quite a few people that don't believe in a God and it is so refreshing. We're told that anything deemed by the government is bad, no matter how harmless it actually is. We're told what we can and cannot wear and how we can and cannot act without even realizing it. I know if I were to ever have kids, I want them to experience everything the world has to offer and not shelter them. I want them to be exposed to different cultures so they don't become close-minded like I believe is what has happened to a lot of people these days.
So back on topic, BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. THERE ARE NO BOUNDARIES. You want to dress like a man and you're a woman? WHO CARES?! DO IT! You want to wear a baseball cap and you aren't involved in sports? DO IT! You're a boy and want to wear Sperry's? DO IT! You want to wear a scarf and you're a guy? DO IT! You want to wear fake glasses every single day to look cool? FREAKING DO IT MAN! You want to dress up as a pirate? MORE POWER TO YOU MAN! You can join our pirate man that travels around on Mass. He's pretty freaking cool.
All in all, people just do what you want. Why worry what people think about you? If it makes you feel good about yourself and it makes you happier?
FREAKING DO IT OKAY BECAUSE LIFE IS WAY TO SHORT TO DO THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY.
You get what I'm saying now?! So don't even wait for college. Wear what you want when you want. Act how you want. Do what you want. Be that person that doesn't let other people bring them down. Because to me, those people are the coolest. They are the best people to have on your side. Make it okay in high school to wear what you want. Let people know it's safe to be who they want to be. Don't not let them grow. That's mean.
So my advice for the day isn't just for my high school seniors, it's for everyone that's become a little close-minded. What we wear on our bodies in no way is intended to harm you or make you feel unsafe. 99.9% of the time we are wearing what we are because its for us and not for you. So next time you see a guy in a button up and slacks and has an arm covered in tattoos, don't make a face and categorize him as incompetent because he has drawn on himself. It's called art. He sure as heck didn't do it for you and it probably has a very significant meaning to him. Next time you see someone riding a skateboard and has a pack of smokes in their pocket, don't just assume they're incompetent pot smokers that aren't going anywhere in life. Many professional and successful people are doing way worse drugs than harmless pot. Please please PLEASE just be little more open-minded and accepting. It can make the world such a nicer, safer place. Please guys.
I remember in my senior year there was a new girl that appeared. What was amazing about this girl was her confidence. She didn't care that she wasn't the smallest girl out there. She didn't let her weight dictate what she wears and how she feels and how she carries herself. She didn't let people's opinions change the way she dressed. She wore whatever she wanted, not caring what others said. To me, this was so brave. She did wear some crazy stuff, but what we weren't taught in high school, is to accept people for who they really are. We haven't matured to the point where it shouldn't bother us what other people wear. So because of this we are kept inside our shell and not able to do what we really want, which hinders our ability to grow as a person, and the circle goes around and around. Until the only thing accepted at school is Buckle jeans and yoga pants (PINK BRAND ONLY).
BUT GUESS WHAT RICH GIRLS FROM HIGH SCHOOL?!?!?!?!?!? Buckle isn't cool here. You're actually considered immature if you still wear bedazzled jeans. It's like crossing over into a different world, from black and white to HD color. I've seen so much diversity since coming to KU. I've seen it all. We have a guy that rides a unicycle, no freaking joke. I've seen a girl in all black with big baggy pants with silver chains all over them. I've seen girls with sky high heels that empower me. If it were up to me, I would have worn heels to school ALL THE TIME if it would've been acceptable.
One of the things that made me realize how bad Beloit is at judgmental opinions was when it was the second time I came home. I was wearing what I normally wear when I go out casually. Not what I normally would've worn a year ago in high school. One of my former underclassman came up to me.
"Hey Dani would you be offended if I asked you a personal question? You don't have to answer."
"Well sure, go ahead."
"Are you wearing what you wear now because that's what people wear in Lawrence or have you wanted to wear this and just haven't been able to until college?" Right then I felt bad for this guy. We are sheltered in Beloit. It's such a small town that anything that isn't considered "right" by our other peers is wrong.
I answered him truthfully. "I've had these clothes since Junior year. I get to wear what I want and I love it."
"Yeah, I thought so. See I want to be able to wear scarves and nice dress-up clothes but I know people will just make fun of me for it." How wrong does that sound people? Moving from Beloit to lovely Lawrence, KS has made me realize how brain washed we are. We're taught that gay rights are not rights at all and that not believing in God is wrong. Well guess what people? I have an aunt that is gay. And she is probably one of the greatest people I know. She adopted two boys from two different countries. She is so inspirational. One of my best friends here is gay. I know quite a few people that don't believe in a God and it is so refreshing. We're told that anything deemed by the government is bad, no matter how harmless it actually is. We're told what we can and cannot wear and how we can and cannot act without even realizing it. I know if I were to ever have kids, I want them to experience everything the world has to offer and not shelter them. I want them to be exposed to different cultures so they don't become close-minded like I believe is what has happened to a lot of people these days.
So back on topic, BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. THERE ARE NO BOUNDARIES. You want to dress like a man and you're a woman? WHO CARES?! DO IT! You want to wear a baseball cap and you aren't involved in sports? DO IT! You're a boy and want to wear Sperry's? DO IT! You want to wear a scarf and you're a guy? DO IT! You want to wear fake glasses every single day to look cool? FREAKING DO IT MAN! You want to dress up as a pirate? MORE POWER TO YOU MAN! You can join our pirate man that travels around on Mass. He's pretty freaking cool.
All in all, people just do what you want. Why worry what people think about you? If it makes you feel good about yourself and it makes you happier?
FREAKING DO IT OKAY BECAUSE LIFE IS WAY TO SHORT TO DO THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY.
You get what I'm saying now?! So don't even wait for college. Wear what you want when you want. Act how you want. Do what you want. Be that person that doesn't let other people bring them down. Because to me, those people are the coolest. They are the best people to have on your side. Make it okay in high school to wear what you want. Let people know it's safe to be who they want to be. Don't not let them grow. That's mean.
So my advice for the day isn't just for my high school seniors, it's for everyone that's become a little close-minded. What we wear on our bodies in no way is intended to harm you or make you feel unsafe. 99.9% of the time we are wearing what we are because its for us and not for you. So next time you see a guy in a button up and slacks and has an arm covered in tattoos, don't make a face and categorize him as incompetent because he has drawn on himself. It's called art. He sure as heck didn't do it for you and it probably has a very significant meaning to him. Next time you see someone riding a skateboard and has a pack of smokes in their pocket, don't just assume they're incompetent pot smokers that aren't going anywhere in life. Many professional and successful people are doing way worse drugs than harmless pot. Please please PLEASE just be little more open-minded and accepting. It can make the world such a nicer, safer place. Please guys.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
College 101: Lesson 2
So last time I covered the basics of starting off in college, how to make some friends and warning you about homesickness. Today I'll prepare you for dorm life. Retched dorm life.
No one wants to live in the dorms if we're being totally honest. Who wants to live in a tiny room, smaller than the one you have at home, with a stranger/friend in a tight enclosed space, surrounded by other 17-30 (yes I have a 30 year-old that lives on my floor) year olds that act like dogs that just got let out of their cage? If you answered yes..... well let me convince you to say no because dorm life is fun don't get me wrong, but by Christmas Break you'll want to take a match and burn the place down.
The fundamentals of it all is quite easy at first glance before you come. I imagined a nice little dorm, tidy and cozy, everything having it's place and just clean because I am a clean person. If you're lucky, you can go online and look up the dorm room you'll be staying in. Go ahead. Go look up Oliver Hall at KU. There are scarce pictures. It didn't raise any red flags to me, but it should have. I'm sure my former classmates will agree with me that adjusting to this new arrangement was harder than we expected.
What I expected my dorm room to look like:
Nice am I right? It makes you WANT to live in a dorm room. It's clean and there is a laughing boy and everything looks just cozy. THIS PICTURE IS MISLEADING. They cleverly did not include in the picture what is behind the picture taker. The smallest closets you will ever have with a vanity that looks older than you are and very nasty drawers and just ALOT more. You can't tell in the picture also that the air unit is completely disgusting. I need to find the room they took this in and move in there.
What my dorm room actually looks like:
We've rearranged so many times and this is the one we're stuck on right now. You'll see my lovely bed right there and to your left you will see the joke of a closet we are allowed and I kindly did not show the ungodly mess my roommate and I call our floor. We're terrible with cleaning. It's horrendous but we just refuse to clean. As you can see. Nothing like that lovely first picture.
So I did some research for my high schoolers out there getting ready for this wonderful time. Let me show you what they want you to think it looks like.
I know from asking around that the majority of the seniors this year are going to Fort Hays:
Most of you will hopefully live in McMindes which seems to be a good place from actually visiting Isaac and Bethany and all my other lovely classmates:
Look at how quaint that looks am I right? A little plant to show some life. But let's analyze. They don't show the actual dimensions of the room or what's behind them. Two twin size beds you can either bunk or have so high off the ground you have to have a step stool to even get on them. Seems to be the trend there. Also can I point out that laptop. MY BROTHER HAD THAT LAPTOP. My brother now around 26-27 had that laptop when he went to college. Almost 4 years ago. Obviously this picture is a little older.
Next for Hays is Tiger Place or Agnew Hall. LIVE HERE OMG. Bethany lived there her first semester and guys, it's like an apartment. LIVE HERE:
It may seem a little off setting but you get your own room. OWN I REPEAT OWN ROOM. You have two other roommates and when I visited I was really close to just staying there and just living on their couch. Compared to my dorm room this is luxury. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN MINI KITCHEN!
Next is Wiest. I only know of one person that lives there and it's Emily Brandt. (HELLO FRIEND!) From others I've heard it's the worst but from Emily's experience, it's not terrible. Other than her bad share of roommates. (Which can happen.)
This just look like an older version of McMindes. I believe this is the oldest building of course you'll have to expect oldness.
I'm not about to do K-States because they have too many dorms and that would just take FOREVER but from looking it over. Some are terrible, some are like AGNEW. So choose wisely people.
Next is roommates. Some people have good experiences and some people have horrendous experiences. I was one of the lucky few that had potluck and actually liked her roommate. Most of you probably know about Marilyn. My little Thai Asian roommate. She is a fireball that loves her Asian ramen and anime. I'm not joking, she has drawings of anime on her wall. She is one of the most talkative and nice people I have ever met. We have gotten along so well that it's been a breeze. Some people may not get that lucky. My story is a fairytale. Some have horror movies. I've heard of roommates that don't shower for days, that don't clean their dishes and you find it a few months later with it's own ecosystem. It's the luck of the draw when you go potluck. If you decide to live with a friend from high school, it could go well or horribly wrong. You could grow to hate this person you used to love so dearly because of the enclosed quarters you now live in. That adorable laugh they have turns into a cackle you hate in a matter of months. It's tricky picking who to live with. I would advise against living with your best friend from high school. You really don't want the risk of losing that friendship.
That was just a glaze over of dorm life. I forgot a lot but I don't want to make this post as long as a Harry Potter book. Just take this all with a grain of sand. Don't start to stress that maybe you chose the wrong place to live or start to worry that you'll get a terrible roommate. It's not the end of the world if you live in the grossest dorm the university offers, you will find your people that will make it all better in the end. And trust me, living in Oliver compared to living in Ellsworth is completely polar opposites. Because Oliver isn't very nice, you bond with other residents about how gross it really is. I got this amazing advice from none other than another KU alum and Oliver alum, Matt Thierolf. When you live in Ellsworth, you tend to stay in your own room because it's literally like a hotel. It all depends on the experience you want to have.
So my little advice for all you incoming freshman. Worry about your dorm room and your roommate, but don't worry TOO much. Choose wisely on both sides. And make your dorm room as cozy as possible. You'll be in there a full year. Make it home. Because it is.
No one wants to live in the dorms if we're being totally honest. Who wants to live in a tiny room, smaller than the one you have at home, with a stranger/friend in a tight enclosed space, surrounded by other 17-30 (yes I have a 30 year-old that lives on my floor) year olds that act like dogs that just got let out of their cage? If you answered yes..... well let me convince you to say no because dorm life is fun don't get me wrong, but by Christmas Break you'll want to take a match and burn the place down.
The fundamentals of it all is quite easy at first glance before you come. I imagined a nice little dorm, tidy and cozy, everything having it's place and just clean because I am a clean person. If you're lucky, you can go online and look up the dorm room you'll be staying in. Go ahead. Go look up Oliver Hall at KU. There are scarce pictures. It didn't raise any red flags to me, but it should have. I'm sure my former classmates will agree with me that adjusting to this new arrangement was harder than we expected.
What I expected my dorm room to look like:
What my dorm room actually looks like:
So I did some research for my high schoolers out there getting ready for this wonderful time. Let me show you what they want you to think it looks like.
I know from asking around that the majority of the seniors this year are going to Fort Hays:
Most of you will hopefully live in McMindes which seems to be a good place from actually visiting Isaac and Bethany and all my other lovely classmates:
Next for Hays is Tiger Place or Agnew Hall. LIVE HERE OMG. Bethany lived there her first semester and guys, it's like an apartment. LIVE HERE:
Next is Wiest. I only know of one person that lives there and it's Emily Brandt. (HELLO FRIEND!) From others I've heard it's the worst but from Emily's experience, it's not terrible. Other than her bad share of roommates. (Which can happen.)
This just look like an older version of McMindes. I believe this is the oldest building of course you'll have to expect oldness.
I'm not about to do K-States because they have too many dorms and that would just take FOREVER but from looking it over. Some are terrible, some are like AGNEW. So choose wisely people.
Next is roommates. Some people have good experiences and some people have horrendous experiences. I was one of the lucky few that had potluck and actually liked her roommate. Most of you probably know about Marilyn. My little Thai Asian roommate. She is a fireball that loves her Asian ramen and anime. I'm not joking, she has drawings of anime on her wall. She is one of the most talkative and nice people I have ever met. We have gotten along so well that it's been a breeze. Some people may not get that lucky. My story is a fairytale. Some have horror movies. I've heard of roommates that don't shower for days, that don't clean their dishes and you find it a few months later with it's own ecosystem. It's the luck of the draw when you go potluck. If you decide to live with a friend from high school, it could go well or horribly wrong. You could grow to hate this person you used to love so dearly because of the enclosed quarters you now live in. That adorable laugh they have turns into a cackle you hate in a matter of months. It's tricky picking who to live with. I would advise against living with your best friend from high school. You really don't want the risk of losing that friendship.
That was just a glaze over of dorm life. I forgot a lot but I don't want to make this post as long as a Harry Potter book. Just take this all with a grain of sand. Don't start to stress that maybe you chose the wrong place to live or start to worry that you'll get a terrible roommate. It's not the end of the world if you live in the grossest dorm the university offers, you will find your people that will make it all better in the end. And trust me, living in Oliver compared to living in Ellsworth is completely polar opposites. Because Oliver isn't very nice, you bond with other residents about how gross it really is. I got this amazing advice from none other than another KU alum and Oliver alum, Matt Thierolf. When you live in Ellsworth, you tend to stay in your own room because it's literally like a hotel. It all depends on the experience you want to have.
So my little advice for all you incoming freshman. Worry about your dorm room and your roommate, but don't worry TOO much. Choose wisely on both sides. And make your dorm room as cozy as possible. You'll be in there a full year. Make it home. Because it is.
Monday, April 27, 2015
One With Nature
So sometimes people just get over worked right? They have a tough day, someone gets on their nerves, a bad situation happens, life really. Well I have a question for you. Do you know the trick to calming down? Do you know yourself well enough that when you are really upset you know exactly what to do? What is it? Basketball? Baseball? Throwing darts at someone's head cut-out on a dart board. Anything just to keep you from blowing up like Pompeii. Mine is very interesting. I like to drive and sing, and when I say sing I mean belt, in the country. I think it's because I'm from a farming community and I'm used to dirt roads. They calm me down. Today, I had a rough day. After staying up all night for my exam, I had work to top it off. I was exhausted. Then of course life came along and I just needed a little time by myself.For some reason, I thought I was a photographer and I'll just post some of those right now.....
Sorry about the excessive photos, but I had some fun finding different places to shoot. It was a good three hour process that cleared my head and helped me think by myself. Sometimes all you need is a little nature one-on-one and it can do a world of good for the soul.
College 101: Lesson 1
Before coming to college, looking back, I wish I had had someone prepare me for what this would all be like. Maybe it would have been a smoother transition, I would have been more prepared, known what to do the second it happened instead of letting it happen and then reacting ten seconds later. From what I've experienced, no intention to hurt my high school teachers feelings or bash their teaching (I love you all and miss you so much), but high school was a joke compared to college. Looking back I can imagine it almost being like a sort of daycare, a place to stick us for 8-10 hours of the day and shove something in our faces and demand for us to learn it. Not only was it a daycare, but it was one of those cheesy ones that the only thing they really teach is the days of the week and how to go pee-pee on the potty by ourselves. Make sure to wash your hands! The gist? You learned nothing, but they made it seem like you were learning everything. They sugar coated everything and damn did they do EVERYTHING for us. Come to college, you can say bye bye to all those study guides with questions straight from the test, or printed out notes prepared before hand in class. You can also say Auvoir to no homework and dazing off in class.
Coming to college is like the old swimming pool. My friends and people my age will completely understand when I say college is like jumping into the 9 ft as soon as you got inside. It is down right bone chilling and a shock to your nervous system. It is one scary jump from the side of the pool to the water inside. That jump, is the first night, NAY WEEK, away from home. Yeah you're all excited to get away from those nagging parents and that stupid town they've made you live in most of your life. But don't for a second think that you won't miss them or that town when you leave. Oh yeah, sure the first few days are like Christmas every single day. Let's just say I went crazy with the buying of fast food late at night. I TOOK FULL ADVANTAGE. No curfew, no parents, maybe just a few reprimands from your lovely yet frightening R.A.'s to keep it down. It is free reign and I will let you know in advance, you will love it. Because so did I, and you could probably call me a momma's girl.
For the first few days, I had no contact with my mom. Now different from some of my former classmates, I was dumped into a pool of unknown people all not knowing each other also and awkwardly trying to find a way to say hi and not make that bad first impression that brings back haunting memories of high school and soon enough everyone is calling you four-eyes. BACK ON TOPIC! Soon, you'll meet someone, who will introduce you to someone else and so on the domino affect is in place. Don't expect to find your forever friends in the first few months, let alone the first few days. Just like love, you gotta be patient, ok? Or you will regret it...horribly. Since the beginning of the school year, I've changed friend groups almost a dozen times and have met so many new and interesting people like myself that I feel content and at home. It takes awhile. Just give it time. Give it a little encouragement by introducing yourself to new faces and don't be scared, more than likely their about to pee their pants also from fright and social anxiety too. Maybe strike up a conversation about depends (s/o to Mr. Curt Pahls for that conversation starter)? Be yourself. And I don't mean the fake self you use around your high school friends so that they don't see how dark and twisty you really are inside. No. Let that dark bat fly. The key to finding the perfect college soul mate is to be yourself. Your true self. No matter how cheesy that sounds, and that sounds about as swiss as it gets, do it. I promise you. It works.
But those few days will roll by and you'll slow down and then your feelings will catch up to your head and your head will fight the feelings off but by the end of that week, I promise you on my lucky pencil's grave, that you will be ready to cry to your mom about how much you miss your bed and your shower and the snacks she made you when you asked her. It will happen. Maybe not in that first week, but it'll hit you out of the blue and the blues will set in fast.
So Dani's little advice for this post goes out to all those high schoolers pining away for college. Stop...drop....and hug your parents. Soon you'll be crying into your pillow at night because you miss the way your room smelt, yes you too boys. I have a few horror stories from my manly man friends. Just, take a moment before you get all worked up about how many spoons you need to take (the answer is none, buy plastic cutlery), and just look around at your house. You won't belong to that house very soon. You've lived in this house most of your life, so you better give it the goodbye it deserves. Give a little lovin to the dogs and maybe the siblings, who knows? Set the rivalry aside and have a nice chat....or don't. Last of all kiss your mom and dad good night and thank the Man Upstairs that he is giving you the opportunity to finally leave that little hell of yours. Because let's just be real honest, who doesn't want to go back to college?
Coming to college is like the old swimming pool. My friends and people my age will completely understand when I say college is like jumping into the 9 ft as soon as you got inside. It is down right bone chilling and a shock to your nervous system. It is one scary jump from the side of the pool to the water inside. That jump, is the first night, NAY WEEK, away from home. Yeah you're all excited to get away from those nagging parents and that stupid town they've made you live in most of your life. But don't for a second think that you won't miss them or that town when you leave. Oh yeah, sure the first few days are like Christmas every single day. Let's just say I went crazy with the buying of fast food late at night. I TOOK FULL ADVANTAGE. No curfew, no parents, maybe just a few reprimands from your lovely yet frightening R.A.'s to keep it down. It is free reign and I will let you know in advance, you will love it. Because so did I, and you could probably call me a momma's girl.
For the first few days, I had no contact with my mom. Now different from some of my former classmates, I was dumped into a pool of unknown people all not knowing each other also and awkwardly trying to find a way to say hi and not make that bad first impression that brings back haunting memories of high school and soon enough everyone is calling you four-eyes. BACK ON TOPIC! Soon, you'll meet someone, who will introduce you to someone else and so on the domino affect is in place. Don't expect to find your forever friends in the first few months, let alone the first few days. Just like love, you gotta be patient, ok? Or you will regret it...horribly. Since the beginning of the school year, I've changed friend groups almost a dozen times and have met so many new and interesting people like myself that I feel content and at home. It takes awhile. Just give it time. Give it a little encouragement by introducing yourself to new faces and don't be scared, more than likely their about to pee their pants also from fright and social anxiety too. Maybe strike up a conversation about depends (s/o to Mr. Curt Pahls for that conversation starter)? Be yourself. And I don't mean the fake self you use around your high school friends so that they don't see how dark and twisty you really are inside. No. Let that dark bat fly. The key to finding the perfect college soul mate is to be yourself. Your true self. No matter how cheesy that sounds, and that sounds about as swiss as it gets, do it. I promise you. It works.
But those few days will roll by and you'll slow down and then your feelings will catch up to your head and your head will fight the feelings off but by the end of that week, I promise you on my lucky pencil's grave, that you will be ready to cry to your mom about how much you miss your bed and your shower and the snacks she made you when you asked her. It will happen. Maybe not in that first week, but it'll hit you out of the blue and the blues will set in fast.
So Dani's little advice for this post goes out to all those high schoolers pining away for college. Stop...drop....and hug your parents. Soon you'll be crying into your pillow at night because you miss the way your room smelt, yes you too boys. I have a few horror stories from my manly man friends. Just, take a moment before you get all worked up about how many spoons you need to take (the answer is none, buy plastic cutlery), and just look around at your house. You won't belong to that house very soon. You've lived in this house most of your life, so you better give it the goodbye it deserves. Give a little lovin to the dogs and maybe the siblings, who knows? Set the rivalry aside and have a nice chat....or don't. Last of all kiss your mom and dad good night and thank the Man Upstairs that he is giving you the opportunity to finally leave that little hell of yours. Because let's just be real honest, who doesn't want to go back to college?
Good Evening....or Good Morning?
So time is none existent in college. If any older folks are reading this, reach back in that brain of yours and remember the late nights of spiral notebooks, note cards, and cat naps in the library bathroom couches. Well, that's what college consists of for a lot of us. Our infamous Anschutz (yes I had to Google that and make sure I spelled that right) library houses what looks like homeless young adults. At 3 a.m. you could almost mistake this place as a homeless shelter for the lost and hopeless. Because it really is. You can literally smell the feeling of hopelessness and despair. It doesn't help that some haven't slept in days and they haven't changed in two days.
You think this is a joke? Dare to visit your child during Finals Week. I highly doubt they would EVER let this happen, but if it's your unlucky day, have fun? Known as the final stretch, it is probably the only week when it is acceptable to look your worst. If you take time to actually look presentable, people actually STARE. Yes. If you look presentable you are judged, complete opposite. It's like opposite day all week. An Opposite Week of sorts. We stay up almost 24/7 and if we don't we study through the night until the exam and then sleep after, during the day. No one showers. You don't have time. It is like hell. Whoever decided that cumulative finals were okay needs to be sat down and taught a thing or two. Because the only thing worse than walking into class on the first day and finding out that the final is CUMULATIVE is finding out your dog died. The dog you've had since childhood. The dog that was your best friend. Died. Being ran over. And you watched. Might, I repeat, MIGHT be worse.
You might be wondering why I am rambling about such a stupid topic. Well if you've checked the time on when I posted this, go ahead, take a peek. Yes everyone. I am awake. In high school I thought 4:00 am was a myth. A mythical mermaid, heard about but never seen. Well I have witnessed the glorious 4:00 am quiet and let me tell you. It is hell and heaven all at the same time. It is so quiet, depending on the time of year and place of sitting. Where I am at currently is in my dorm bed with the windows open listening to the night sounds. It's nice because it's like you're one with the world, but I am probably driving my neighbor nuts with my incessant, unnecessary rap. Oops. Sorry Keke. Why am I up at 3:30? A very important exam in Accounting 201 tomorrow at 12. Counting down the hours until I have to get up for my 9:30 am class and watching the hours slip by as I kid myself into thinking that I'm actually retaining this information. I'm not joking. This information is going in one ear and out the other, and obviously I'm not studying very hard because of said blog post. (If you're reading this mom, which lets be real, you will you can't resist. I promise I'll do well. Don't worry.)
So time. Time doesn't exist for a college student. It doesn't matter if the sun or the moon is in the sky. I'm going to make a quick run to McDonalds for a caramel frappe and maybe something off the dollar menu just to stay awake for a few more hours. I'm very lucky that Marilyn is never in the room around night time because I would more than likely annoy the crap out of her with all my commotion. (sorry Marilyn. Don't forget my ice cream tomorrow)
So far I've learned that in college you really don't need to own a watch. You might need it to get to class on time, but once you get really good at the whole Native American, sun positioning system, you'll be a pure-blood Navaho. You can also go to school for free also so hey there's a bonus. So if any of my former underclassman decide to take a peek at this, let me tell you, you think staying up till 1 is scary. Wait till you see the AM put together with the 5. That's horror movie worthy. So enjoy sleep while you can high schoolers, because come August for you seniors, you'll be slapped in the face over and over again. You won't know what to do. Because nothing can really prepare you for what's about to happen. Unless you're Clark Kent, don't try to do everything. Take it one step at a time.
So Dani's little advice for the coming day. Cherish your sleep. Enjoy those delicious dreams of meeting Zac Efron or winning the lottery. Because come one day, you'll miss it. Terribly.
You think this is a joke? Dare to visit your child during Finals Week. I highly doubt they would EVER let this happen, but if it's your unlucky day, have fun? Known as the final stretch, it is probably the only week when it is acceptable to look your worst. If you take time to actually look presentable, people actually STARE. Yes. If you look presentable you are judged, complete opposite. It's like opposite day all week. An Opposite Week of sorts. We stay up almost 24/7 and if we don't we study through the night until the exam and then sleep after, during the day. No one showers. You don't have time. It is like hell. Whoever decided that cumulative finals were okay needs to be sat down and taught a thing or two. Because the only thing worse than walking into class on the first day and finding out that the final is CUMULATIVE is finding out your dog died. The dog you've had since childhood. The dog that was your best friend. Died. Being ran over. And you watched. Might, I repeat, MIGHT be worse.
You might be wondering why I am rambling about such a stupid topic. Well if you've checked the time on when I posted this, go ahead, take a peek. Yes everyone. I am awake. In high school I thought 4:00 am was a myth. A mythical mermaid, heard about but never seen. Well I have witnessed the glorious 4:00 am quiet and let me tell you. It is hell and heaven all at the same time. It is so quiet, depending on the time of year and place of sitting. Where I am at currently is in my dorm bed with the windows open listening to the night sounds. It's nice because it's like you're one with the world, but I am probably driving my neighbor nuts with my incessant, unnecessary rap. Oops. Sorry Keke. Why am I up at 3:30? A very important exam in Accounting 201 tomorrow at 12. Counting down the hours until I have to get up for my 9:30 am class and watching the hours slip by as I kid myself into thinking that I'm actually retaining this information. I'm not joking. This information is going in one ear and out the other, and obviously I'm not studying very hard because of said blog post. (If you're reading this mom, which lets be real, you will you can't resist. I promise I'll do well. Don't worry.)
So time. Time doesn't exist for a college student. It doesn't matter if the sun or the moon is in the sky. I'm going to make a quick run to McDonalds for a caramel frappe and maybe something off the dollar menu just to stay awake for a few more hours. I'm very lucky that Marilyn is never in the room around night time because I would more than likely annoy the crap out of her with all my commotion. (sorry Marilyn. Don't forget my ice cream tomorrow)
So far I've learned that in college you really don't need to own a watch. You might need it to get to class on time, but once you get really good at the whole Native American, sun positioning system, you'll be a pure-blood Navaho. You can also go to school for free also so hey there's a bonus. So if any of my former underclassman decide to take a peek at this, let me tell you, you think staying up till 1 is scary. Wait till you see the AM put together with the 5. That's horror movie worthy. So enjoy sleep while you can high schoolers, because come August for you seniors, you'll be slapped in the face over and over again. You won't know what to do. Because nothing can really prepare you for what's about to happen. Unless you're Clark Kent, don't try to do everything. Take it one step at a time.
So Dani's little advice for the coming day. Cherish your sleep. Enjoy those delicious dreams of meeting Zac Efron or winning the lottery. Because come one day, you'll miss it. Terribly.
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